Kids Aren’t Vending Machines
Here’s what I’m thinking about today: Kids aren't vending machines. We can't just stick in correct change (that “magic” phrase or strategy) and expect kids to instantly conform to our expectations. And that's not the goal anyway.
My friend Dr. Michele Borba began her career as a special education teacher. As she got to know students as individuals, she told me she was guided by one question, “How can I help them shine?”
That’s a better question than: “How can I make them behave?” or “How do I get them to stop/start ________?” As Borba told me, one of the best things parents can do is simply observe their children closely. Get curious.
What activities seem to ignite their child's imagination or give them an extra spark of joy? What seems to increase their confidence, reduce their stress, or help them enjoy their own company?
“Find out what helps your child be the best version of themselves,” said Borba, and then give them the freedom to pursue those activities. This often requires shelving our own expectations about what they “should” be doing.
This is an excerpt from my August newsletter.
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