Helping Kids Feel Loved (All The Time)

Written By Deborah Farmer Kris

“When you were growing up, were there any feelings that you just knew weren’t okay or accepted in your home?”

When I ask this question to a group of parents, almost every hand goes up. 

One of the most basic emotional literacy lessons we try to teach kids is that their feelings are okay –  all of them, all the time. Emotions are the body’s alert system and provide valuable information. When we learn how to notice and name our emotions — with compassion — we can make better choices about what to do with what we feel. But that’s not a message many of us grew up with. 

I’ve spent the last 24 years as a teacher, school administrator, education journalist, and parenting columnist for PBS KIDS. In other words, I’m steeped in all the child development research. But that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with this stuff, too. 

So when I set out to finally write a parenting book, I wrote four of them. And they are all picture books. (The first 2 come out on February 22 (2/2/2022 — how cool is that?).

Let me explain.

You know how Daniel Tiger is a great kids show, but sometimes it seems like a parenting show in disguise? I mean, if you have children of certain age, chances are you can finish this jingle “If you need to go potty . . . “ My most successful articles seem to be those that give parents practical language to use with kids when emotions run high. 

So that’s what these four books do. For example, “I Love You All The Time” begins with a refrain that I’ve used with my kids since they were toddlers:

I love you when you’re happy.

I love you when you’re sad. 

I love you when you’re feeling scared.

I love you when your’re mad.

I love you all the time.  

Because that’s a question kids sometimes have when they lose control or see us lose control: Does my grown-up still love me? 

The second book, “You Have Feelings All the Time” helps kids build their emotional vocabulary. Big feelings, small feelings, warm feelings, uncomfortable feelings, mixed feelings – these are all part of growing up. You have feelings all the time, and that’s okay. 

Later this year, “You Wonder All the Time” (celebrating kids’ curiosity, awe & wonder) and “You Are Growing All The Time”(celebrating children’s physical, intellectual, & character development) will be available.

I’m sending these books into the world in hopes that they offer parents one more small way to help kids thrive — to remind children that they are seen, they are known, and they are loved. All the time. 

Cheers,

Deborah

www.parenthood365.com

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Deborah Farmer Kris
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